They say it's the middle child that becomes the mediator or professional negotiator. Exactly. The most intense joy I've experienced has been from is my middle child. From the moment I tied a pink ribbon around her head (which was in the delivery room within 10 minutes of her birth) 'till a few Saturday's ago when she sang at a military celebration, my heart has smiled when I see her. Everyone who knows her, sees her talent. The Congresswoman who invited her to sing at the event spoke of this at the celebration. Her French teacher at school remarked at the rarity of getting a student like her that has "passion" for the langauge. Everything she does radiates vivaciousness. She is effusive, vibrant, full of zest, and a lover of life. She comes out of her room in a blast on the way to church, etc. and I'm so amazed at her fashion savvy. She holds that head high and exudes a confidence very few learn in a lifetime.
My labor was arduous, not as with my other 2. While carrying her, I would not allow the doctor to tell me the gender of this child in my womb. I simply was overcome with raw and aching need for a girl. I never once looked at girl clothes during my pregnant. I had this distinct fear that I would be unfair in some way to my baby should it be a boy. I just HAD to have a girl. When the doctor announced to the room "It's a girl!", I started weeping. My aunt Deta was holding my hand. I kept saying over and over "It's a girl!, It's a girl!, I don't have to do this anymore!". I never occurred to me that while laboring to deliver this child I was planning another pregnancy just in case it was a boy! My family that stood in the hall did not have to be informed that she had arrived. They all heard me chanting over and over "It's a girl!, It's a girl!".
After saying all this, I need to inform you that she is my clone. A while ago, she came to my room to inform me, "I just give up. I am just like you and I can't change it!". For a couple of years I watched her struggle with trying to be the opposite of what I was. She didn't like my bold, loud purses, nor my tendency to draw attention to myself in dress, hairstyle, etc. Soon thereafter she was borrowing those very purses and clothing. Now, if we both have trips it's a race to claim who gets what. It's humbling to see yourself in someone. I see myself in her daily and that changes my thought processes and actions often.
I will continue to watch her fulfill her potential as time rocks on. And her ability to "fulfill" will forever amaze me. There is nothing she cannot accomplish, and what I so love is her discipline and willpower. They will take her far beyond the reaches that even I can concieve. While colleges continue to court and she stays in her continual dither over where, when and what, I will stand back and be amazed. Did I mention I birthed this child?=)
Blogging is like the tides. The mood comes and goes. Summer is in full swing, and with hummingbirds flitting, oleanders blooming, and lemonade freshly squeezed, I tend to not peruse email for days on end. This week I had my first autumnal pang, with visions of my beloved boots dancing in my head. Maybe once life gets back into "rut" status i.e. No. 2 pencils sharpened, I will settle back into blogging. I must admit it was all consuming for a time. The consumation is sure to resurface when those long cool evenings arrive. Until then, for all those who ask, patience, please.=)