Small Town America

Columbia, MS Courthouse
Today has been another of those "live-over" days. I just spent the evening at Back Door Cafe listening to my daughter Tayler sing incredible love songs. Our friend Eric played acoustic guitar and they did a couple of duets. How did I ever get so lucky to end up in "small town America" Columbia, Mississippi? There are only 6600 people in our small city, yet we have an amazing fine dining establishment. For Valentine's Day diners, there were pristine white cloths, fat, ruffled edged camillias and glowing votive candles on each table. Owner/chef Fran Ginn invited Tay to do the entertainment and the ambiance was perfect. Just one more reason my love for Columbia escalates often.

My weekend started Friday with my friend Lori and I spending a quiet evening enjoying homemade chicken veggie soup, strawberries and cupcakes. Last evening I baked, mini and full sized cupcakes then dipped some strawberries in white chocolate. The strawberries went on top of the chocolate iced cupcakes and I added those little heart shapes with writing to the top of the minis. This morning started with delivering mini cupcakes to my friends, the staff at Hardee's.

After breakfast I rode with friends Lisa and Ashley to the coast to pick up Ash's costumes for the high school musical coming up. We drove the beach, crossed the new Biloxi/Ocean Springs bridge to Ocean Springs to buy muffins at Bayview Gourmet, then had coffee at the Roasted Bean in the Beau Rivage. My reservations for dinner were at 8, so we headed home.

I really can't imagine another city of this size having so much to offer. Columbia High School has a musical each year that is highly anticipated. (Tay had the lead the year she graduated.) The band wins "state" each year. (My three were all a part of it. Tyler began his public career of drumming in the 6th grade. Tay played clarinet and Tyren trumpet and french horn.) And that's not even mentioning sports. (Tyren went to state 3 years running playing tennis.) It's "cool" to be in the musical and band here, as well as sports. That was not the case in my high school.

All this and I haven't mentioned my place of worship, the absolute best perk of the entire city. Cultured friends, award winning high school, fine dining and Woodlawn Church.

Heaven's to Betsy I love this well-rounded small town!

The Church of Whole Foods

(Previously posted to MySpace on Wednesday, August 13, 2008)

She sat a couple of tables over and happily nursed her baby without covering nor shame. I read her wife beater style tank when she walked by and it said "Kiss-Not Kill". The air of a "hippie" was apparent and I can't explain why. Maybe it was the hair, longer than most women this day and age and cut into a shag.

Just beside her in a booth was what I assumed to be a student, though his age defied my assumption. He was furiously highlighting in a thick workbook and there were colorful post-it markers sticking out on all sides. He looked to be adamantly studying. He'd raise his head ever so often with a concentrated look as if to memorize.

Up walked 4 young guys, all within a couple years of 20, plus or minus. They ordered a variety of fruit smoothies with protein. Tanned legs stuck out of plaid shorts and fitted t-shirts advertised popular clothing brands, college monikers and the such. Brown feet were ensconced in leather type flip flops and the careless way they flipped their college haircuts out of their eyes belied not a care in the world.

Obviously wealthy, yet weak, the elderly woman watched all this without concern. She had a diamond on her hand worth more than my entire monetary portfolio and heavy gold earrings weighted her lobes. Her hair was perfectly coiffed and what I call "cataract glasses" were perched on her head. She was waiting patiently, at that age where you have no choice. You are still mobile but have little stamina, and are basically forced to let everyone do their thing. If they take you with them, you sit until they finish and come back to help you to the car.

Then there were the three 30 something women who had been swimming. With cover-ups on and pricey handbags on their shoulders, they commanded the attention of most within sight. Each had a clip holding up their obviously saloned hair and they pretended no one else existed. They talked brightly and made eye contact with not a soul.

In this mix, the cowboy was the most interesting. And no, not for obvious reasons. He was well dressed in a suit and tie, a pair of cowboy boots, and his head was topped with a dressy, summer cowboy hat. His handlebar moustache was thick and grey, and overwhelmed his slight frame. 

My favorites were right beside me, close enough for me to catch some of their words. They sat down in a booth across from each other and in a gesture obviously familiar to each of them, they reached across the table and joined hands. Both women were over 70, one of them beautiful to the point of my knowing she was a beauty queen in former years. The beauty prayed. I fumbled hysterically in my bag for my camera. Then proceeded to turn off the flash trying to be Sherlock Holmes and get a picture of their prayer. Of course, by the time I got it in place, they were finished praying. The eldest held on to her friend's hands and I heard her saying " You are the dearest friend I have." I had previously guessed sisters, then observed something that portrayed a long lost joy in seeing each other. An extra something that was not in the familiarity of siblings.

All this transpired in the coffee shop/juice bar of an upscale grocery store, Whole Foods. According to traditions in Mississippi, none of the previously mentioned people would be considered "normal" by most standards. Oh how I'd have loved to poll those I discreetly watched. I would have been safe to bet there wasn't a Republican in the mix. This crowd was full of social activist. My view of the parking lot revealed a range in transportation, from Hybrids all the way up to the excessive BMW. I watched people emerge from vehicles and it's quite comical to pair a person with a car. The thin guy with nylon running shorts exits the Jetta while the 50ish well built women in the tennis dress slammed the door on her Mercedes. How extremely different everyone was, yet all had something in common. What fun a debate amongst these would have been. Obama would have been shoo in as President that very second, and every single American in Iraq would have been deported home at the earliest possible moment.

The yuppie women carrying the $1000 purses and driving the gas guzzling SUV's felt this was "their place" just as did the hippie mother who proudly nursed her child in public. And there my son and I sat. Both born in Mississippi, me living there most of my years and him for the first 23 of his life, we also felt it was "our place". We were right at home. 

I love Whole Foods for the beautiful displays and choices in things not readily available in my small town. The art of piling fresh fruits in baskets, the colorful array of gourmet salads, the cuts of meats and fish the staunchest gourmand would demand, and the choice in fresh baked breads are entirely tempting. The visual feast of just walking through this store or having a smoothie while people watching is high on my favorite things to do when in the big city. The fresh flower market alone is sensory over dose. Learning to live "green" and "organic" abounds. I saw a green t-shirt available for purchase that proclaimed " I was organic when organic wasn't cool."

I find it comical that the prissy 30 somethings were there because it's a "cool" place to be while the nursing mom considers it "green". Should either discuss the other, I somehow think it would be in disgust. Yet they find commonality in a grocery emporium.

Churches need to take on the "Whole Foods" approach. Services should be bright, colorful and welcome you. Funny how the scents and sights of Whole Foods flower market greets you at the door. Upon arrival, we need only the best as is offered at this beautiful retailer. The worship should be pure and as good for you as anything organic. Fresh protein offered like you see in the market area would mean healthy saints. Something new and fresh in song and the Word is attractive. The 30 something prissy and the hippie nursing mother should feel right at home. We have the equation it takes to get to heaven, and it's up to us to introduce them to it.

Making your house of worship a comfortable setting for all walks of life is your place. Not only the pastor, hospitality team or janitor is responsible. You will be held accountable for those you come in contact with that would never be exposed to Jesus otherwise. As we walked out of the store, 2 separate guys bagging said, "Thanks for coming in. Have a great evening." Wow. And they are even friendly.

Whether someone is looking for coffee, a protein drink, or a berry smoothie, something in our services need to appeal to them all. And a friendly welcome is the perfect place to begin. We should take pride in the grounds. Fresh paint and an entrance that beckons is a must. It doesn't take tons of money to have a clean, inviting entrance. Place urns beside the front doors with a plant to say welcome. Light an incredible smelling candle in the foyer. Make sure the restrooms are outfitted properly. Have soothing music (live or piped in) playing pre and post service. Then when they arrive, make them know they are welcomed and in a place that offers something they need. 

The Church of Whole Foods. What a concept.

It's Almost Gone...

It’s slipping away, and I’m holding on for dear life. I wore my Santa apron one last time today. I hear moans and groans wishing the holidays “were over”! Not me. Ever. I simply love the emotions and spirit that comes with it.

Here’s one last view of the way my important holiday events (Christmas morning not included, it’s a given) played out.

Family


(Notice: Todd holding court and Tiji and Tara hysterically laughing)
For years now, Christmas at Nanna’s is a pajama party. You simply don’t come unless wearing pajamas. We arrive around the 6 o’clock evening hour and the celebration lasts for the next 24. The process of finding just the right thing to wear has become quite important. Invariably, the discussion around Thanksgiving is “Have you found your pajamas yet”? There have been matching families frocks, adult “onesies”, and this year Todd’s t-shirt was a perfect Santa suit that asked “Does this make me look fat”?

Some history. I am the eldest of 8 siblings. Twyla, Timothy, Tiji, Todd, Tara, Toyia, Tedd, and Travis. 2 Divorced, 1 single, the rest married. Between us, we have 9 children, with 2 being stepchildren. You add spouses and significant others in the mix and it’s a motley crew. We decided years ago to “draw names” and the results are classified. From year to year the eldest or youngest stands and presents their gift. There is the proverbial cat and mouse, handing it to the incorrect person only to reach past and give it to the proper recipient.

The evening is loud. The 3 young ones are begging to open gifts from the time they walk in the door. Todd is in a perpetual state of performance and telling jokes. Tiji and Tara are doubled over from his shenanigans. Tayler is on the piano. Music is blaring from Toy’s room. Tyler is telling hilarious stories. Clint does impersonations. Tedd and Tyren are posing. Pots are clanging in the kitchen. Shadoe and Chandler are chasing each other. Basically it’s a mad house. But we’d have it no other way. The evening is scheduled when everyone can be there. Todd works in Singapore, and Tedd, Travis and Parrish work 14 and 14 or 7 and 7, meaning they are gone various times during per month. It takes some fanagling, but we always manage to secure a date.

Everyone brings their favorite Christmas serving dishes, and makes their favorite recipes. And yes there are requests. We eat, kids open their gifts, adults take their turn (I am thrilled to say Todd had my name so my gift was an oil on canvas from Singapore!), then it’s games and foolishness, with heavy accent on the foolishness. Then we eat some more. Truthfully, we eat all evening. The dynamics of the late evening game table were entirely different this year. I sat back and thought of the days when I remember my Mother on the sidelines watching as I was.

We all spend the night on “the hill”. With Nanna, Todd and Tara all living in walking distance, we usually all stay. The next morning is a huge breakfast. Todd and Zazzy got Nanna a gorgeous waffle maker with that flipping mechanism. We had amazing waffles, along with tons of anything else remotely breakfast oriented. We simply hang out for most the day.

That 24 hours is to be remembered. Memories made never to be forgotten.

Church

(I went back in after everyone had gone for the evening and snapped this.)
Now here’s a subject that brightens my eyes. Our Christmas service at Woodlawn Church was on Saturday evening to allow the city to participate. We chose that because every Sunday is extremely busy churchwise. The biggest shock to me when I moved to Columbia 20 years ago, was that everyone went to church. In Biloxi, out of my high school friends, maybe 3-4 went to church regularly. And I attended a large school. And I knew pretty much everyone. Biloxi is just not a churched city. It’s predominately Catholic and they attend Ash Wednesday, Easter and Christmas. The entire school was literally bussed to the local Catholic churches on Ash Wednesday. I was one of maybe 10 that stayed at the school. They all came back with black smears on their foreheads and my thought was “and they think my religion is strange?” My friends Donna and Janet went to the Baptist Church, and Nancy was Mormon. Everyone else in my acquaintance was Catholic. When I think back now, I realize I remember their names only because they were church goers.

Back to Woodlog=), as referred to by Bunch and Breeze, the comedy team that kept the evening lighthearted. We were packed out, chairs in aisles. The songs made your heart smile, and even though it was basically my baby, I must admit the auditorium was breath taking. (DVD’s of the service are available. 601.736.5128/church office) The Miracle of Christmas, the name of our evening, was a perfect way to celebrate the birth of the King. My favorites from the service was when the song “The Miracle of Christmas” was sung with acoustic only and two 4’ X 8’ canvases were painted on stage by my sister Toyia and Brandi Rose ,the other when my Tay sang. Pastor brought a moving message. The evening ended on a high note with the band performing a couple of Trans-Siberian Orchestra songs.

A grand piano and a saxophone serenaded us from a small stage in the center of the foyer. The rotunda was roped with lighted garland and scented candles were lit running up the stairwell. We served fresh cookies and sparkling juice, as the weather was warm. People lolled about, snapping pictures in the their Christmas frocks and soaking up the warmth of Christmas. The evening ended just as we’d hoped. The images are forever imprinted on my mind.

Giving

(Each of the 26 trees represented a family.)
"Light Your World" will change your life. It was founded by Danny Rivers and is an incredible way we as a church give to our community. It's an adoption program of sorts for those less fortunate. You sponsor a child and Elevate Student Ministry does the work. They shop, wrap the gifts, do the cooking and serve. The family is invited to dine with us on Sunday evening and at that time are presented with a "Christmas" for each of their children. As a sponsor, you're invited to the festivities. You make new friends and get participate in the joy. When I arrived, I was amazed at some 200 plus in the gym. We were served a lovely meal and sat with the family we sponsored. Games including the crowd were played and extra gifts were won by the children. Pictures with Santa were taken and last but not least they were told the Christmas Story. We then went to their family tree for smiles and laughter.

My sister Toy played a huge part in the organization of it all and to say I was proud is an understatement. Twenty-six families had an evening that would not have been possible save the giving of our church. If there is no such program at your church, you now have the knowledge of how it's done.=)

Extended Family

Cousin Rhonda from Houston came in Christmas Day with her youngest girls. My heart wishes this to be an annual thing, though I know it simply can’t. It’s as if this one was stolen from time. I hope the day comes that when I have to share my children we can synchronize our years. We’ll surely fly far away together.

We were able to pull something off that I am extremely proud of. A phone call was made to the Coast and a time set with the “coastal cousins” to dine. We made a shot in the dark on Saturday after Christmas and it worked. Rhonda, the sisters and I drove to the Coast and had dinner at Ruby Tuesdays with Aunt Edie, our father’s only living sister. Her children, save one were able to come. David, a nurse who just happened to have the night off, and his children Nathan and Lindsay, Stephen, a captain at the fire department who was off his 48/72 hour rotation, and Anita, mother extraordiniare who came when she left work at 5. I sent out a text with the time and God smiled on us for each cousin to be able to make it. Their youngest sister Amanda was not there, but I simply do NOT feel sorry for her as she was in New York City for the holiday=). We laughed and posed for pictures. We told stories and reminisced about our parents, Bibbie, Papaw and Aunt Deta, then drove back home.

I must admit this was my favorite holiday happening. It was such an unlikely thing with work schedules, but God was good and allowed us some time together. That evening I vowed I would always try to get us all together, even though work schedules and geography make it seem impossible. The only fly in the ointment was that all my siblings every single cousin was not there. There are “Arkansas Cousins” ,“Bourriague Cousins”, "Coast Cousins" and “Houston Cousins” . We discussed a cousins reunion and I pray we can make it happen.

At this time in my life, family has become of utmost importance. With my very own ducklings flying away, my extended family has become an obsession. With the early passing of so many of those close, I feel an urgency to stay connected to this generation I am a part of. If you are reading this, and fall into the sibling or cousin category, please reach out and touch someone. Let’s try our dead level best to meet this year. I’ll work on a date and a central location.

Goodbye holidays. You will be sorely missed.

SOLO

January brought changes. Change is scary, period. It's viewed critically by most, mainly because we as humans fear the unknown. Much discussion precluded this new year and venture for Woodlawn. Lots of it negative, more of it positive. January began Advance classes, with every age group from children to seniors meeting for pastries and coffee at 9.00 am. A new year brought a new class, SOLO, a newly formed Singles Group. Class begins at 9.15 and we move to the Main Sanctuary for Sunday service at 10.30. Then the big shocker, no Sunday evening service.
Danny Rivers spoke mid January, and never before has a message affected me so deeply. (Bro. Fauss had quite an impact at Youth Camp during my teens, but did not prompt changes as Danny did.) www.bethechurch.cc will tell the tale. Highly recommended is the DVD of that service available at Woodlawn Church office. To quote him, "What's happened is the church has raised at least 2 generations of arrogant, out-of-touch people who in large part don't really care about lost people…don't try to help hurting people and who week after week hide behind our doctrine…even though we continually miss one of the most obvious doctrines in all of the Bible…Love your neighbor as much as you do yourself." That commission was branded into my mind. It has catapulted me into action. Each Advance Class is building an ongoing FOCUS project, which is based on the Biblical principles that Danny so beautifully taught. We are integrating ourselves into the community and learning that one-on-one outreach is the way to locally expose Jesus to our personal, lost world. We are attempting to reach out as much locally as we have internationally now for decades. I have been "IN the church" since the day of my birth. I am desperately trying to learn to "BE the church" for the first time in my life. SOLO wanted an outreach that was untapped at Woodlawn. Our FOCUS project was born from my new convert having 2 siblings with cancer, and from my immediate family having been deluged with the disease in the last 8 or so years. We took on reaching out to those diagnosed with cancer and their caregivers, and shut-ins directly connected to our church. The second Sunday evening (ye Gads!) of the month we meet, prepare a meal and deliver to people whose name(s) we have collected. 
I cannot describe the feelings of true Christianity after having delivered a meal to someone that life has dealt a crushing blow most could not sustain. Or the happiness and well-being while sitting for a few minutes with the sweet lady having dinner alone in the nursing home dining hall. Or the "rightness" while standing in the drive of the crying gentleman whose wife had broken her hip and knee as he thanked me profusely for providing their supper. I have sat through some 2300+ Sunday evening services in my lifetime. (Resist doing the math please.=) I have dressed up more times than most models have walked a runway. I have been "spiritually fed" enough to feed all of Africa's hungry. I have sat with other church friends on said evening and socialized more than famous Hollywood stars.  My Sunday evenings are now dedicated to something different. As a church body, we are reaching out to the unchurched, developing relationships with new and old friends alike, providing alcohol and drug dependancy classes, spending one-on-one time with our family, providing babysitting to mothers of autistic children for an evening out, preparing meals to those diagnosed with cancer and their caregivers, mentoring fatherless young men with Connect, giving single parents a free evening by organizing fun and games for their children and visiting the shut-in. All of this outside the walls of "the church". Dressing up, singing in the choir, feeding my spiritual obesity, and socializing with church friends does not begin to compare.
SOLO has doubled since the first class in January. We will triple this year! For me and hundreds alike, this change has been a welcomed, fruitful one. Woodlawn is blossoming. This year alone we have baptized 30+ and many more have received the gift of the Holyghost. Our putting our families first, loving the unlovable, showing the hurting we care, developing relationships with old and new friends alike is working. Trust me my friend, Sunday evenings are not free. My favorite, Matt Maddix stated "take those nobody wants and God will give you the ones everyone wants". We are doing both. Reaching out to the rejects as well as those close to us who are Godless. 
I am deeply in love with SOLO and hope this "virus" of love, as Pastor Jerron put it last Wednesday, is contagious. We will win souls to Christ. We will BE the church.